The Wave

Written April 29, 2019

For a moment I basked in the warmth of the sandy shore

Keeping watch of the tiny soul in my care

Then the choppy waves pulled me into the unpredictability and fluidity of emotions

Memories of the undercurrent pulling me down repeatedly

Each disingenuous apology with no change in action

Slicing my skin against the jagged rocks below

Dragging my body across the course sand as waves engulf me from above

Currents tear away at the suit covering my body as words tear away at my soul

Leaving my naked body to clamber for air and search out covering

Exposed and battered, I found the shoreline with clear eyes and direction

Pulled myself to the dry safety of land to once again watch the pieces of my heart

From the security of dry land and vantage point of control

The tidal wave came again- unexpected and unplanned

Struggling to stay afloat in a sea of rejection and uncertainty

Gasping for air as my arms tire from treading water

Exhaustion pushes me to stop fighting

My arms and legs go limp

I am tired

Allowing the water to envelope my body, my thoughts

Give in, let go

Weary eyes bobbing with the flow of the water watch the shore from afar

Longing to place my feet squarely on dry certain land

The earth stabling my footing giving control back to me

Choosing cautiously when the waves touch me.